Today’s question is…
“how do you cosplay if you’re shy?”
This is a good one, because I’m super shy.
I’m guessing most people wouldn’t look at a cosplayer and guess that they’re shy. “You’re dressed as Slave Leia and you’re shy?!”
Being shy doesn’t always equal being shy about what you wear. I’m perfectly comfortable wearing something like Slave Leia in front of strangers, but I have no idea how to start a conversation with any of them.
But that’s one of the great things about costuming – you’re opening a door without saying anything. You might as well have a sign over your head that says, “hey, I like Star Wars” or Star Trek, or X-Men, or whatever. It gives other people the invitation to come over and start a conversation with you, and for someone shy who has difficulty starting a conversation, that’s great.
(All of these people like Doctor Who!)
What it doesn’t help with is those awkward conversational skills. I guess we’ve all been there, tripping over your tongue, saying something stupid, not understanding what someone said. I still do that all the time, but I’m way better about it than I used to be.
In high school I was painfully shy. As in someone could have stabbed me and I would have been too shy to tell anyone that I’m bleeding to death. There were probably full days that went by where I didn’t speak a word at all.
Costuming has helped me through that in huge ways. I didn’t get into it for the sake of getting attention or even making friends; I started costuming because I liked (and still love) the creative process. I’m still iffy about putting on a costume at a con if I haven’t seen anyone else in costume. I don’t want that much attention if I’m the only person in costume.
But the attention that costuming brings can help bridge the gap. Having a stranger run up to you and want to hug you because they love your costume is awesome, and before you know it you’re standing there talking to a stranger without really even thinking about it. And the more that happens, the more you do that, the easier it becomes.
When I was high school, I nearly passed out in speech class because I had to get up and give a speech in front of my 20 or so other classmates. I was shaking so hard I made the podium shake. Now, I can walk across a stage in a metal bikini and talk in front of a panel of people without feeling at all nervous. (Maybe a little embarrassed that people would actually want to hear me talk!)
(Even if it is only in front of one person.)
I still have huge hurdles to overcome in terms of shyness and approaching people and holding conversations but I’m still MILES ahead of where I used to be, and I give most of the credit for that to costuming.
So if you’re shy, just get out there and see what happens. Don’t torture yourself about it anytime you don’t know what to say or feel awkward. The good experiences will start to outweigh the dumb ones very quickly – just focus on having a good time in your costume 🙂